Well to start with, self-esteem is not an easy thing for me to write about. Being a teenager in today’s society is hard, and I’m not going to deny it, or sugar coat it. It sucks. It’s terrible, but having a high self-esteem definitely helps. I spent the last 2 years of my life looking for acceptance from people who didn't deserve to give it too me. I went looking for compliments from people who didn't have the capacity to give them. I looked to boys, and people who I saw as better than me to tell me I was worth something. And that, is where all of my problems started.
I honestly can’t say too much about how wonderful having self-esteem is, because mine has just barely started to grow, but I can feel it, like a seed growing inside of me. On March 8, I went to a concert for a band called Set It Off. It wasn't some concert where I just sat in a seat listening to them sing, no, I was stuffed in a loading dock with one hundred other people jumping up and down screaming song lyrics and pretty much beating each other up for the opportunity to touch our idols, and trust me, I have the bruises to prove it. Not to mention my swollen nose due to Cody Carson accidentally landing on my face as he started to crowd surf. Not even going to lie that I totally enjoyed it.
Anyway, that might not sound like the best experience to all of you, but that isn’t the point. The point is, that to me, it was pure bliss. There was pure happiness radiating from me. That feeling is when I felt that seed appear. It was just a little ounce of, “I’m cool. I’m sitting in a loading dock with a hundred other people being jumped on by famous people. And you want to know what? I am freaking awesome!” As I listened to the lyrics of a song by this band, I realized that this feeling of happiness is what I want in my life. I was tired of feeling sad, of feeling broken. As long as you are looking to others to build you up, they will be able to just as easily, tear you down. But, letting other people build you up, is fine. There is nothing wrong with people telling you how awesome you are, as long as you know, that it isn’t true because they said it, it is true because you are an amazing person.
You just need to decide for yourself that you are worth something. You are worth a lot. You are lovable, and you are capable. But don’t just listen to me say it, believe it for yourself. Look for the things you enjoy, and let them help you find yourself. Life is going to get harder, you are getting older, you will be experiencing new things, but if you believe in yourself, you can get through them. Self-esteem is not about the compliments you get from others. It is about loving you, even when that person isn't entirely lovable.
I mean, I have my flaws. A lot of them. But why should I let that dim my light? Use them to shine brighter. I am an awesome person. And not just this awesome *show Mr. Wright Awesomeness scale* Or this awesome *More Mr. Wright Awesomeness scale* But this awesome, and I didn't learn that on my own. I had some pretty awesome people help me believe it, but the point is, I made the choice to start believing it. And that is what all of us need to do, if we haven’t already. Look into yourself as you go throughout your day, and look for the things that YOU are good at. The things that make YOU awesome, and eventually, you will realize that there is a lot of them.
Life isn't perfect. Bad things happen. People will leave you. People will try and break you down. Just don’t forget that the world doesn't define you. Others don’t define you. You define you.
No comments:
Post a Comment